


special

by ninthdreamie



Series: lovelust [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Biting, Bottom Na Jaemin, Emotional Sex, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Marking, Semi-Clothed Sex, Top Lee Jeno, lee jeno has his glasses here, mentions of bullying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:01:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22598248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninthdreamie/pseuds/ninthdreamie
Summary: Jeno still struggles with seeing his worth.
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Series: lovelust [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1626049
Comments: 14
Kudos: 283





	special

**Author's Note:**

  * For [starwreck](https://archiveofourown.org/users/starwreck/gifts).



> this has been hiding in my docs for like...a year now. i could’ve posted it sooner honestly, but i was still not confident about my nsfw writing skills. that is, until today. this work is dedicated to the birthday girl, lily, miss starwreck! i hope you love this hehe <3 and enjoy!
> 
> clarifying that in this, jeno and jaemin are of legal age!

Everyone knows that Jeno tends to question his own worth, all the damn time.

He is usually not confident about himself. When he’d be specially mentioned by the teacher because of getting high scores, he’d always be surprised, his eyes wide, like he never believed he’d do it. When he gets complimented for his intelligence, his manners, and his handsome face, he’d say that there are better people out there. People better than him. And what’s worse is that he sounds so sure about it, like he looks at himself that way.

His insecurities are mistaken for humility. But even if they think he is being  _ too humble _ , it irritates some people, sometimes.

It is not a surprise that Jeno is like that in his relationship as well.

His classes end earlier than expected, so he’s waiting by the door of Jaemin’s classroom. Through the transparent glass windows, he can see boys and girls smile sweetly at his boyfriend, and wave him goodbye as their last teacher dismisses them. He sees how he smiles and waves back at them while they leave, how well he treats his classmates.

He can’t avoid the others who try to make a move on him, winking at him and seemingly passing it off as a joke; he isn’t that stupid. He can see how they’re trying to make jaemin swoon.

Instead of feeling like wanting to kick all of their faces, throw them out the window, and other violent things, he begins to feel smaller. Powerless.  _ Nothing _ , compared to them. He clutches onto the strap of his bag tightly with both of his hands.

_ Thinking about it _ , Jeno looks at all the people who are terrible at hiding their infatuation for jaemin. He notices something, and it makes the smile he wears look heavy and burdensome. Forced, and fragile.  _ They’re all better than I am _ .

The people chasing Jaemin aren’t just intelligent; they’re also good-looking, confident, and popular. Jeno is smart too, just not as smart as them. Compared to them, he’s a total nobody. A barely seen dot among the rest.

_ Out of everyone, why me? _

The bell rings, and everyone in the classroom dashes out, not forgetting to greet their teacher goodbye. Jeno finds himself diving into his insecurities as he waits for Jaemin to come out, digging his nails into the strap of his bag. He fixes his prescription eyeglasses in a timid manner, as it’s already slipping down his nose.

He doesn’t dare to look at anyone in the eye, so he won’t grab attention. Being known as Na Jaemin’s boyfriend already grabs more than enough of it.

Jeno was close to letting out a shriek upon feeling someone’s palm touching his own, and the gaps between his fingers getting filled. He looks up from his feet and then, his side.

Jaemin is now right next to him, still sporting the pretty smile that made Jeno’s heart explode during junior year. Oh, how time flies. “Sorry, the teacher just had to discuss a little more.”

“It’s alright.” Jeno smiles for him, and squeezes his hand to reassure him. “I don’t have much to do today, anyway.”

Jaemin’s full cheeks suddenly turn into the lightest shade of pink; anyone can see that he is incredibly charmed by Jeno, and he is terrible at hiding how amazed he gets just hearing him talk and seeing his face. He keeps quiet for a few seconds, thinking about that repeatedly.

“My house or yours?” Jeno asks nonchalantly, not being conscious that he is slightly swaying their intertwined hands as they get out of the school’s main gate. Jaemin finds it adorable.

“Mine!” Jaemin answers enthusiastically, making the side of his shoulder stick to jeno’s as they walk at their own pace.

As they separate from crowds of students and walk towards Jaemin’s home, which isn’t so far from their school, the sky catches his attention. Jeno notices how pretty it is, now that the sun is setting. It doesn’t hurt his eyes just as much, so he silently admires the sky shifting from pink and purple to fiery orange, a darker shade of violet, and a hint of blue.

Jaemin stops walking when he catches Jeno looking at the sky with such wide and curious eyes. He grins to himself when the sun rays hit both of their faces and the latter’s facial features glow.

Wanting to keep the memory, jaemin gets his phone from the pocket of his slacks and opens its camera, taking countless pictures of his boyfriend. Thankfully, his phone’s sound is muted; if Jeno heard a flash, he’d whine, grab his phone, and delete the photos taken.

Before Jeno can even catch him, Jaemin swiftly sets one of the pictures into his phone’s wallpaper. He mentally notes to print all of them later on, so he can hang them up in his room, insert one of them in a photo frame, and have another to insert in his transparent phone case.

Jeno tears his eyes away from the sky a little later, missing the way Jaemin has been looking at the screen of his phone, and grabs his hand again as they start walking again.

*

There’s something about the darkness that makes Jeno more emotional, more bare,  _ weaker _ . Maybe it’s just him, because everyone else seems to be unfazed by it.

The only source of light in Jaemin’s room is his desk lamp. The curtains are closed. Jeno watches his boyfriend take a nap, resting his head against one of his many textbooks, his mouth hanging open. His snores fill the silence, and in times like these, even the slightest of sounds from his surroundings could help him cope with dealing his mind.

But his thoughts are louder than usual tonight.

His thoughts drift off to what he saw earlier in school. He may not know all of his classmates’ names—he doesn’t have to remember some of them, but he remembers that before Jaemin came into the picture, they had some history.

_ Out of everyone, why me _ ?

It just sucks that some of the people who are after his boyfriend now used to bully him before, during freshman year, before Jaemin even transferred to their school. Jeno still remembers how they’d mock him for not being as smart as them, for not being as open as them. He remembers being called average. He remembers doing whatever they asked of him, hoping that it would lead to something good. He remembers drilling everything—the insults, the comments, and the rest of the bad stuff into his head, eventually conditioning himself to think that they’re right.

_ You’re not special _ . Those three words still hurt him to this day, and that’s how he views himself in his relationship with Jaemin, unfortunately.

Compared to him, Jeno’s basically no one, to the point one can consider him nonexistent. He doesn’t even have the right to feel a hint of possessiveness. He doesn’t deserve Jaemin. He  _ doesn’t _ .

And Jaemin does not need to know that this is what goes on in his head, Jeno thinks as he brushes his messy brown locks off his face.

He can feel the tears coming, it’s making the corners of his eyes hurt. He immediately takes his glasses off and puts it on the desk with care. He isn’t going to go home anytime soon, but he doesn’t want Jaemin to see him cry.

Jeno wipes them off, but more tears begin sliding down his cheeks, until he can’t stop from letting out a sob and his shoulders are starting to shake.  _ They’re getting to me _ , Jeno thinks as he tries to get up from the chair he’s sitting on, having plans on going out of the room to let it all out in the bathroom instead.

But he doesn’t see through his tears that Jaemin’s been awake a few minutes ago. Before he could even leave, he holds onto his hand. Jeno’s now glassy eyes widen.

“ _ No-ya _ ,” Jaemin calls him groggily, slowly lifting his face up from his textbook. “Where are you going?”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Jeno holds back a sob as he answers. “I’ll just wash my face.” He lies through his teeth.

Jaemin gets up from his chair, which makes Jeno stand up as well. “I'll come with you.”

“I'll be fine, just keep resting.”

Jaemin frowns, seeing the tears staining jeno’s cheeks increase. He sighs. He  _ knows _ . He wipes some of them away with his thumb, the back of his hand. “I heard what you were murmuring to yourself.”

Jeno tries his best to act confused, making a noise slip from his mouth. Jaemin isn’t having any of it though, his frown deepening. He doesn’t look angry but rather, concerned.

“Jeno, why didn’t you tell me?” jaemin’s question is out, in a regretful whisper. The corners of his lips that usually curve upwards do the exact opposite. “They used to hurt you?”

“That was freshman year, it’s over now.” Jeno tries to brush it off like it doesn't faze him anymore, but it still does. It’s like dead skin that has not been scrubbed off yet. The memory is so fresh, it feels like it happened yesterday. It still brings tears to his eyes every time he remembers how they glared at him, laughed at him, and said awful things.

Jaemin’s heart gets torn apart as he sees how it breaks Jeno. He wishes he could make it go away, but words are powerful. He can’t make the pain vanish overnight. He can’t help but wish he took part in preventing it from happening.

But he does the best he can. He kisses Jeno’s lips gently, telling him that he is special, that he matters, and that he loves him a lot through that very action.

When he pulls away and rests his forehead against Jeno’s, he already cups his face with both of his hands.

“They must have said bad things, but please know you are special,  _ to me _ .” Jaemin smiles for him, and Jeno’s heart aches more from the reassurance. This is what he has probably been needing all along. This is something he thinks he still doesn’t deserve though. “I care about you. I'm not letting them hurt you. I'm not letting their words get to you anymore.”

Jaemin kisses him on the lips again, but this time, it’s longer and Jeno wants—there is something in him that  _ needs  _ more. He finds himself holding onto his boyfriend’s hips with the right amount of strength, pulling him close.

He lets Jaemin give him what he thinks he needs, what he lacks, and everything else he can offer. Jeno’s mind suddenly goes quiet, no longer flooded by the terrible things, only focusing on the person he’s kissing right now. The rest of his senses heighten as they end up on the bed.

Jeno rests his back against the wall, giving Jaemin the chance to have his way with him, who is already straddling his lap.

As he feels his lips beginning to swell, and feels Jaemin’s lips on his neck, he voices his thoughts out loud again.

“C-Can we—,”

Before Jeno can even finish his sentence, Jaemin slowly grinds down on his clothed crotch. They both moan at the feeling, holding onto each other a little tighter.

Jeno rests his face in the crook of his neck, breathing heavily into his skin. He hears Jaemin whimper softly, feels his body shiver as he runs his hands from his back down to his thigh.

This time, Jeno is the one reconnecting their lips, and it gets messy the moment he bites down on Jaemin’s lower lip and shoves his tongue inside. The latter moans in his mouth, and grinds on him harder.

They go on like that, until both of their ties and shirts are on the floor, until their slacks get too tight and uncomfortable and they help each other take them off.

Jaemin gets off of his lap, and Jeno whines, too far gone to even ask what is he getting from the desk and chairs, panting heavily and about to touch himself.

Before he actually does it, his boyfriend gets back and his crotch gets in contact with his ass, letting out a whines and holding onto his hips, making him move for friction. But Jaemin holds both of his shoulders, calming him down.

Jeno’s blurry eyesight gets clearer after blinking his eyes a couple of times, and he feels something resting on his nose bridge. He’s wearing his glasses.

Right in front of his very eyes, he sees Jaemin wearing Jeno’s blazer, his neck and torso marred with many love bites. The sight is erotic; it turns the latter on.

“Cute.” Jeno doesn’t keep his mouth shut for the nth time as he looks at Jaemin dumbly, feeling the air getting smacked out of him. “ _What’d I do to have someone so pretty._ ” He runs out of words afterwards, his mind now in shambles.

Jaemin hears his heart thumping in his ear after hearing those words. The red coloring his cheeks turn a shade darker, and he smiles timidly upon feeling his boyfriend’s puppy eyes on him. He makes Jeno’s hands hold onto the waistband of his brief.

Jeno doesn’t waste time, pulling them down his thighs then to his legs, until it ends up on the floor along with the rest of the unnecessary clothing. He hears Jaemin gasp for air the entire time; he likes how sensitive he is getting.

As Jaemin helps Jeno take his brief off as well, they hold eye contact, and the tension in the room rises _ fast _ . The air begins to feel stuffy, it’s hot, and they’re getting needier with every second passing by.

Jeno and Jaemin  _ need  _ each other.

Although they’re both already desperate and wanting to get to it, Jeno controls himself, gulping down the neediest noises he was close to letting out. He gets the lube from the nightstand and warms it up with three of his fingers. Without being told, Jaemin lies on his back on the bed, while the former caresses the side of his thigh with his free hand.

When the liquid is already warmed up, he inserts a finger into his already clenching hole. He watches Jaemin close his eyes tight, whimpering something he couldn’t understand, his hands wanting to clutch onto something.

As he inserts the second digit and starts working him open, Jeno watches him squirm for more, fucking himself into his fingers, his hand already grasping the sheets and the other over his mouth, trying to muffle the noises.

“J-Just a little more,” Jeno tells him softly as he adds the third digit, brushing Jaemin’s prostate in the process. The latter screams at the sudden wave of pleasure, the sensation making him arch his back and almost close his legs.

Seeing Jaemin beneath him looking vulnerable, hearing him  _ beg _ , and feeling his walls clench around his fingers reminds Jeno that he is the only one who can get to have him like this. Everyone else may have his smiles, his attention, and his pretty sentences but that’s it. That’s all they’ll ever get, because they’ll never have his heart like he does.

What Jeno is seeing everyday—it is all  _ for him _ . His body, his feelings, his most genuine smiles, and everything he is willing to share to him—it’s only for him.

It’s overwhelming, everything that he is feeling. It gets too much for him that he begins to cry again.

Jeno pulls his fingers out, and Jaemin whines from the loss, spreading his legs even more. The latter watches him apply lube on his already hardened cock, and he swallows the lump down his throat at what he is seeing.

They took each other’s virginity and have fucked a couple of times, he shouldn’t be so flustered anymore, but there’s something in Jeno’s tear-filled eyes. He can’t pinpoint exactly what it is, but he can tell what it’s making him feel. It makes him feel more exposed, but also at the same time, protected.

Jaemin gasps when Jeno eases himself into him a little later, his hands clutching onto his toned arms as if it’s second nature. More sweat begins trickling down his forehead. He is being ripped apart by the latter’s cock inside him and it always,  _ always _ feels heavenly, despite the pain that comes with it.

Jeno whimpers from how tight Jaemin is, makes more tears slip down his cheeks. He quickly wipes them away, so he won’t concern his boyfriend.

To distract him, Jeno kisses Jaemin’s forehead and the tip of his nose, gently squeezing his sides to calm him down. The latter feels like melting as he sees his eyes turn into moon crescents when he smiles.

“Are you okay?”

“F-Fine,” Jaemin answers breathlessly.

He locks his ankles, his thighs tightening around his boyfriend’s waist. He fixes the position of Jeno’s glasses before caressing his cheek with his thumb to wipe the tears away, and also telling him to start moving.

Jeno pulls out just a little,  _ slowly _ , and thrusts back in, hitting Jaemin’s prostate. A scream comes out of his mouth, his back arching from the bed.

Jeno feels so lucky and so, so  _ in love _ , seeing Jaemin reach a state similar to cloud nine, with his skin blemished with red and purple love bites, while wearing his blazer with his name tag still attached to it. It makes him proud, and also just a little bit possessive.

So he continues thrusting into Jaemin, hitting his sweet spot, making him release much more lewd noises that Jeno will engrave into his mind. He leans closer to his face and sees the drool already dripping down his chin; he licks it off with his tongue and weakly moans from how his hole is clenching around his big cock.

“ _ Mine _ ,” Jeno mumbles against jaemin’s lips, pulling him closer by wrapping his arms around his waist, embracing him. he nibbles on his earlobe, and the latter whines, wanting to get kissed on the lips rather than anything else.

Jaemin trembles, almost shifts to a headspace of his own when Jeno gropes one of his ass cheeks and kneads it. His sweat is starting to stain the latter’s blazer, but he doesn’t mind at all. He likes the scent of his boyfriend all over him when he’s being fucked like this. “I’m yours, I’m yours.”

Sounds of footsteps suddenly come from the stairs. Jaemin doesn’t hear it, doesn’t register his surroundings anymore. His mind is full of  _ Jeno, Jeno, Jeno _ and he could only cry and whine needily since he’s close to his orgasm. He can’t think straight. He wants to keep going, he wants  _ more _ .

As for Jeno, he hears the tapping of shoes from outside, and that means one thing: his parents are already home.

Jaemin always locks the door, but the walls and floors in his home are thin. Any huge movement can get anyone’s attention and cause a ruckus. For the sake of not getting caught, jeno slows his thrusts down, going deeper instead.

“ _ Jeno _ .” Jaemin says his name with such a sweet and vulnerable tone to it, that it makes Jeno’s heart fall apart in the best of ways. He kisses him in the heat of the moment, his hands gripping his hips roughly. He feels the former’s nails on his back, and his free hand on his nape.

He continues to thrust into his boyfriend until they come at the same time, silently moaning into each other’s mouths. Jeno’s blazer gets slightly damp from sweat and many other fluids, but they can’t care less.

After taking his time on catching his breath, Jeno pulls out even if his boyfriend didn’t want him to, and helps him take the blazer off. He notices how the bedsheets are already mixed with scents of his own cologne, Jaemin’s peach lotion, the lube they used, and sex.

Jaemin continues to lie on his bed, completely exhausted all over but at least, satiated. He manages to still look adorable despite the suggestive marks on his neck, his chest, his stomach, and on his thighs.

Jeno begins to get shy again at the marks he left on his body, fixing the position of his eyeglasses and looking away.

“Jeno.” He replies to Jaemin with a hum, as he sits on the edge of the bed.

“I love you,” Jaemin tells him genuinely, not like how he usually says it to others with a flirty tone to his voice. He almost didn’t catch it because he said it too softly. “I'm letting everyone know that.”

Jeno raises an eyebrow, turning to a smiling Jaemin, whose eyes are closed. “How?”

“You’ll see.”

*

The next day, as Jeno enters his classroom without trying to grab anyone’s attention, his classmates begin to approach him. Their eyes are wide and curious, a little bit worried. Nonetheless, it’s confusing, the looks on their faces.

“Did something happen?” Jeno asks them politely, fixing the position of his glasses for the nth time.

“Na Jaemin is your boyfriend, right?”

“Did you  _ see  _ the marks around his neck? He isn’t even trying to hide it! He’s doing it on purpose.”

Jeno lets out a noise of confusion, putting his bag down on his chair first before rushing out of the classroom to check on Jaemin.

And his classmates are right.

From what he’s seeing through the glass windows, Jaemin is smiling to himself on his seat, his arms crossed and his collar barely fixed. His neck is littered with all the love bites Jeno formed the night before; some of them too dark and big that a concealer couldn’t serve its purpose.

He blushes beet red when Jaemin catches his eyes and waves at him while puckering his lips, as if he’s asking for a kiss. Jeno stays frozen on where he’s standing, waving back to his boyfriend while the rest of his classmates’ jaws drop, losing their shit internally.

His fingers end up on his well-concealed neck, still feeling the marks Jaemin made. He fails at fighting back the smile that makes its way to his lips.

Maybe he is a little special, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> scream at my face and please tell me how you thought about it through the comments! you can scream to me at @piscesnomin in twitter too, and/or my curiouscat @clreamer! <3


End file.
